Dorahe  

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Aaj mai is dorahe per khadi hu jha zilat badnami or ruswai mun khole mujhe nigalne ki tg mai hai. Jisam ke khriedar to sabhi hai lekin sachi muhabat or pakiza sahra dene wala koi nahi. Tariq raho ki be naam mnzile mairi muntzer hai. In raston ko kisi or ne nahi apne leye khud mai ne hi muntakhb kia hai. Machalti jawani or behki behki khwahishon ne hi mujhe is raste per chalne per mjbur kardia jis ki koi manzil nahi. Kash mai ne apne muqader se samjhota karlia hota or saber or shukar karke apni kismat per shkir ho ker araam se beth gai hoti. To aaj ruswaiyan mera muqader na hoti.

Apni bhdakti jawani or jazbat ke tofan ke agge saber ka band na bandh saki. Ab to pachhtawe hi mera sab koch hai.

Shaed mera zamir marte dum tak mujhe muaf na kare lekin is se pehle mai apna muqadma qarain ke samne rakhna chahti hu ab wohhi faislah karenge ke mere ghunahu ki mai khud kitni sazawar hu. Mere azabun ki ye khani tab shuro hui jab mere sene per mojud nashpatiya jese phater ki tarha sakht ubbhron mai achank aenthn or methi methi dard si rhne lagi. Abhi meri umer hi kia thi 17 sal bhi koi umer hoti hai. Bhri bhri kachi nashpatian ne pakker rus bhare aamo ki shakal iktiyar karni shuro kardi thi. Jab kabhi apne ghar ki chhat se samne ladko ke school ki ground mai uchalte kodte jawan ladko ki khrmastiyan dekhti to dil najane kiun badi zor zor se dhak dhak karne lagta. Chhtiyun ke ubher pholne pechkne lagte or ynlagata jese jisam ki sari jan dono tango ke darmeian se nekli jarhi ho. Chhop chhop ker nojawan mardana jismon ko apni nazro se mehsoos kerte huwe yn mehsoos hota jese mere apne jisam mai koi badi kami rhgai ho. Koi assi kami jese in khelte kodte jisamo ke thos aaza hi dor karsakte ho. Dil chahta ke in ladko mai se koi ek meri chhat per achank mujhe pechhe se aaker dboch le or mere machalte jisam ko noch khsot ker rakh de. Meri bechen jawani se na serf khud ko serab kre blke mujhe bhi is anokhi lazzat se sirfraz kre jisse mai abhi tak na ashana thi. Mager mere ghar walon ne shaeed mere is bagawt per amdah jisam ki pukar bhi sonli thi shaeed inhe bhi mere bharpur baden ki haryali, mere gudaz seene ki golaiya or kolhon (gand) ke sadol ubbhar kisi an dekhe tofan ka pata derhe the tabhi to unhon ne achank mera rishta te kardia. Mashriqi ladki thi sharam aati thi mager dil mai lado photrhe the. Boht arsa apni khuwaisho ko dil mai dabae rkha tha. Raate azzab lagti thi, tanhaiya dasti thi meri khushi ki inteha na thi kewnke ab jaldhi mujhe peyar karne wala, mere jisam ke lawe ki tarha ubbalte tofan ko sanbhalne wala akhir kar mere muqader mai likh diagaya tha. Maa ne mujhse mere mahine ke akhir mai hone wali mahwari ke dino ka hisab kitab pochh ker meri shadi ki tarikh te kardi. Abbhi shadi mai do teen din hi baqi the ke mujhe apni sehliun ki sirgosheun mai hone wali bato se kisi bade tofan ki bo anelagi. Akir woh meri terf dekh ker esharo esharo mai kia bate karti thi or pher toba toba kerke kewn kan pakadleti thi. Or pher woh din bhi aagaya jab ghar ki dehlez per ane wali barat ki shehnaya mere kano mai rus gholne lagi mai dolhan bani sehliun ke ghere mai saji simti bethi thi ke humare dur par ki khala jo mujhe peyar kerne aai thi mere chhre per apne pople honto se peyar de ker boli… Peno khuda nasib achhe kare… Kia huwa dolha zara umer ka bada hai… Per sona hai bada rupe pese wala hai… Badi umer ki baat sonker to ek lamhe ko mere dil bandsa hoker rehgaya meri shadi kisi jawan hum umer ladke se nahi balke kisi umerrsidah shakhs se horhi thi yeto mujhe bad mai pata chala ke is shakhs ne jo mera shohar bane wala tha mere maa baap ko achhi kasi raqam bhi mere liye derakhi thi yani woh meri shadi na karhe the balke mujhe bech rhe the apni khuhisho ke deye jalane keliye unhone mere armano ko aag mai jhonk dia tha mager ab kia hosakta tha sab koch to khatm hogya tha mai is shadi se bagawat kese kersakti thi mai ghunght mai mun chupae apne undekhe mjazi khuda ke sath is ke ghar chali aai. Meri shadi ki pehlihi raat mere leye tariqia samet lai mai raat bhar tadpti rahi or woh mere pehlu mai ek bejan potle ki tarha pada sorha tha maine sote howe iske khnder jisam ka jaizah lia. Khichdi bal jo adhe se ziadah mehndi mai range the benoor or bekashish chehra jis per hadia ubbhri hoi thi or lager or bemar jisam iske jisam mai koi asi baat nathi jo kisi bharpur aurat ko jismani khushi or missrat desake mager pher bhi woh mera shohar tha ab jokoch bhi tha mere munzor armano ko is hi ne kinare lagana tha yehi soch ker maine be sharam ban ker khud pehl karne ka faisla karlia mera jisam jazbat ki aag mai phata jarha tha chhatiun ka zerobm tang bilauz ko cher phad kerrkhne kelye betab tha mai ne himat kerke ahista ahista apna zewer uttara pher apne bilauz or brezer ko uttarker ahista se site per rkhe or jan bujh ker apni tange us ke istkhuwani jisam per rakh ker ahista ahista apni rano ko uski rano ke darmian ragadne lagi.

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Posted : 12/06/2011 8:39 pm